The Advice Huckster: Sure a sense of humor comes in handy once in a while, but every so often you need to flip people the bird.

A couple of letters today about couples who have their hands held out at their own weddings. First, from "Ask Amy" we have the ideal reaction. Keep a sense of humor and an open mind about things. Make things fun. Don't always try to see the worst in other people and assume that the bride and groom just want extra presents:

Dear Amy: I'm responding to letters from people who say they are angry about the "shakedown" many wedding showers have become. One writer was concerned because she had been asked not just to bring a gift but to bring a gift basket full of goodies.

Gift baskets can be inexpensive to put together. But there are many items at discount stores and "dollar stores" that would be fun and kitschy to include in a gift basket. People just need to be a little creative!

—Shower Veteran

Dear Veteran: I love your suggestion and agree that a personalized, kitschy gift basket can be quite inexpensive to put together—certainly less expensive than many of the items prospective brides and expectant mothers list on their registries.

Cool. Good.

But sometimes, people are just douchebags and don't deserve the pleasure of your company at their wedding. From today's "Dear Abby":

DEAR ABBY: Two friends of mine are being married. Their wedding will be a potluck. I have never heard of such a thing, and I'm wondering if this means I shouldn't bring a gift.

On top of bringing food, they have also assigned people to various tasks, such as setting up the hall, doing dishes, serving the cake and such. What does a wedding guest do in a situation like this? -- NOT SURE IF I DO

DEAR NOT SURE: It appears this affair is one in which an unusual amount of effort is expected of the "guests." Unless you are prepared to participate fully -- and that includes giving them a small wedding gift -- stay home and watch a rerun of "Father of the Bride."

I'm okay with the potluck (assuming, of course, that the bride and groom aren't registered at Tiffany's). It's the assigning of chores that I find pretty galling.